Life as a Soot Ball
by MiSSxMELON
Summary: Ever wonder what the soot balls go through? Their life sure isn't easy...so let's see it from their point of view.


**Life as a Soot ball**

**By: Helen Li**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Spirited Away...or the soot balls.**

Hi, my name's Larry and well...I'm a soot ball. I live in this great bath house...yet I work in a stupid boiler room. My life is really quite boring and tedious. I mean, I'm restless during the day while all the other creatures sleep (we don't sleep), and at night I work my little soot arms and legs off dumping coal into the hot, sparking kennel. I'd rather trade my life with the _coal_.

Nothing interesting _ever _happens around here, either, except for our constant bickering with Kamaji.Did I mention thatKamaji has a _horrible _temper? I swear that creature is only happy when he gets his food! Of course, I only look forward to our breaks and chow time.

But the event of my lifetime occurred when that _human _entered the boiler room. It was the biggest thing that had happened since coal.

"Uh-um...hello?" the human asked shyly.

I rolled my eyes...well, I don't know if we really can but...yeah. That human was...pathetic.

"...excuse me? Kamaji?" the human hesitated as she stepped forward onto our floor. Thank goodness this was our break; I don't think I could handle such an ignorant organism.

"Eh?" Kamaji turned around and inspected the human. He seemed to have the same point of view...she was _pathetic_.

"Are you Kamaji? Haku sent me. Please give me a job!" the female pleaded.

I would have thrown up...except we're fed _once _a day. _Once_. Sure I don't have the biggest appetite, but it's not like we're paid with anything else. I mean, have these guys ever heard of _minimum wage_?!

"What? Three bath tokens at once? Get back to work you little runts!" Kamaji yelled. He turned back to the female human. "Yeah, I'm Kamaji, slave to the boilers that heat the baths..."

Kamaji continued his boring speech that he used on _every _person who asked for a job. It's sad because I know the whole thing by heart. Um...except I don't think I really have a heart. Do I? Hm, I don't know.

The two talked as I worked and labored...but then I saw the human _picking up one of the coals_! This was outrageous! How come Bob was so lucky? That soot ball was the laziest among us, _and _he gets a break! Unbelievable! If only Kamaji could tell us apart (uh, well I wasn't sure if that was Bob or Joe), Bob (Joe?) would never get away with it...

I watched her, as my fellow workers joined me. I would have scoffed...but I'm just a soot ball..., instead I scoffed in my mind. She was such a weakling! She could _barely _pick up _one _piece of coal! No wonder the creatures around here talk badly about them...although I don't understand how they 'smell' bad. ...that's probably because I _can't _smell. Jeez, it sucks being a soot ball that can _think_.

But then it dawned on me...if she would help Bob (Joe?), she would certainly help me! Unfortunately the rest of the soot balls thought the same thing...I guess we think the same way since we're...soot balls?

I dropped my coal on top of me, pretending to wither in pain. It's actually a nice tickling sensation, quite relieving.

I thought she'd buy it until...the rest of us did the same thing. Damn. I sighed...or, well in my mind I sighed since I also doubt we're capable of that, and got up. Well, that female was taking up the attention so as I saw Lin, I rushed over there to get my daily feeding. I love stars...they're so _pretty_...it's a shame to eat them. That's why I steal from the other guys.

As I hear Lin yell at the girl, I yell at her, too.

"YEAH, MAKE HER PICK UP MY COAL! COME ON LIN, WE'RE BUDDIES!" I yelled. I practically knew Lin for my whole life! Except my life span was, what, one year?

Lin ignored me and continued talking to _her_. Well, we can understand _them_, but apparently they can't understand _us_. Ugh...I really DO hate life.

Instead, the human leaves! What?! She didn't even help me with _one _of my coals! Then she hits her head on the wood...I practically laughed out loud...except I can't do _that_ either. That's it...I might just do what Dan did...he jumped into the kennel. We don't talk about Dan anymore...

A/N: Short, but sweet. I only saw the English version of the movie, so if I'm wrong...well pretend you're American.


End file.
